Chris Rock Complete Monologue Transcript

Although host Chris Rock may have chosen to be silent on #OscarsSoWhite controversy in the days leading up 88th At the annual Oscars, he held nothing back on the Dolby stage on Sunday night.

In his opening monologueRock targets a wide range of hot topics in Hollywood, including #AskHerMorethe lack of diversity between this year’s nominees and many Hollywood stars, such as Spike Lee and Jada Pinkett Smith, who called for a boycott of the Oscars.

“Why the Oscars? That is 88th The Oscars, which means this whole ‘no black candidate’ thing has happened at least 71 other times,” Rock said at the show’s opening.

Read Rock’s opening transcript here:

I counted at least 15 black people in that montage!

Well, I’m here at the Academy Awards. Also known as the White People’s Choice Award. You realize, if they nominated a host, I wouldn’t even get the job! You’ll be following Neil Patrick Harris right now.

But this is crazy. This is the wildest, craziest Oscars ever held because we’ve got all these controversies – no black nominations. And how are people. “Chris, you should boycott! Chris, you should give up! You should quit smoking”. Why do only unemployed people tell you to give up something, you know? No one with a job tells you to quit. So I thought about quitting. I thought about it really hard, but I realized, “They’re going to have an Oscar anyway.” They won’t cancel the Oscars because I give up! And the last thing I need is to lose another job to Kevin Hart, okay? I do not need that! Kev, right there [points to Hart in audience]. Kev makes movies fast! Every month! Porn stars don’t make movies that fast.

Now the point is, what are we up against – the big question: Why this Oscar? Why the Oscars, you know? It’s the 88th Academy Awards. Which means this whole “no black candidate” thing has happened at least 71 other times, OK? You have to think it happened in the ’50s, in the ’60s – you know it was like one of those years Sidney [Poitier] did not put out a movie. I’m sure there was no black candidate in those years. Say ’65, ’62 or ’63 – and black people don’t object! Why? Because we had real things to object to at the time. We had practical things to object to. We were too busy being raped and divided to care about who won best cinematographer. When your grandmother swings from the tree, it’s hard to care about the best foreign short documentary!

But what happened this year? What happened? Everyone went crazy! Spike is mad. Sharpton is mad and Jada is mad, Will is mad. Everyone is crazy! Is crazy! Jada goes crazy. Jada says she will not come. Protest. I was like, “Isn’t she on a TV show?” Jada boycotted the Oscars just like I boycotted Rihanna’s panties. I’m not invited! Oh, that’s not an invitation I would decline!

But I understand! I do not hate. I understand you’re crazy. Jada is crazy her man, Will, is not nominated Shock. I got it. [Impersonates Will Smith’s character] “Tell the truth!” I got it! You are crazy. Say: “It’s not fair that Will is this good to not be nominated!” You’re right! It’s also not fair that Will gets paid $20 million for Wild West! ALRIGHT?

This year at the Oscars, things will be a little different! This year, in the In Memoriam package, it will be just black people being shot dead by the police on the way to the movies! Right! Right! I told you, okay?

If you want to have black people nominated every year, you just have to have black categories. That’s what you need. You need to have black categories. You did it with men and women. Think about it! There’s no real reason to be segregated in acting! Any! There’s no reason at all! It is not athletics! You don’t have to separate them! Robert De Niro never said, “I’d better slow this down so Meryl Streep can catch up!” No! Not at all, buddy! If you want to have black people every year at the Oscars, just have the black people category. Like: black best friend! And the winner for the 18th year in a row, is Wanda Sykes! “This is Wanda’s 18th Black Oscar.”

This is the real question. The real question everyone wants to know in the world is: Is Hollywood racist? You know. You have to go in the right direction. Is it racist throughout? No. Is it racist “Fetch me some lemon”? No! It’s another type of racism.

Now I remember one night I was at a fundraiser for President Obama – a lot of you were there. And you know it’s me and all of Hollywood. And there were about four black people there. I, uh let’s see, Quincy Jones, Russell Simmons, Questlove – you know the usual suspects, right? And every black actor doesn’t work. Needless to say, Kev Hart wasn’t there, OK?

So at some point you can take a picture with the president. And when they set up the painting, you get to have a little moment with the president. I was like, “Mr. President, have you seen all these writers, producers and actors? They don’t hire black people! And they are the most beautiful white people on Earth! They are libertarians! Cheese!” That’s right. Is Hollywood racist? You’re a racist in Hollywood, but not the kind of racism you’re used to. Hollywood is racist women. It’s like like, “We like you Ronda, but you’re not Kappa.” That’s Hollywood.

But things are changing! Things are changing! Yes, we have Black Rocky this year. Some people call it Creed, I call it “Black Rocky”. And that’s an unbelievable statement, because Rocky takes place in a white world where white athletes are just as good as black athletes. Rockya science fiction movie. There are things that happen in Star Wars more believable than what happens in RockyALRIGHT?

But hey, we’re here to honor the actors. We’re here to honor the movie, you know. And there’s a lot of hate. But one of the most hated things that nobody talks about: My favorite actor in the world is Paul Giamatti. Paul Giamatti I believe is the greatest actor in the world. Think about what Paul Giamatti has done over the past few years. Last year he was in 12 years of slavery – hate black people! This year he is in Straight Outta Compton – love black people! Last year he whipped Lupita [Nyong’o]. This year, he cried at Eazy-E’s funeral! Now that’s the scope!

Ben Affleck can’t do that! What I mean is not a boycott of anything – it’s just, we want a chance. We want black actors to have the same opportunities as white actors – that’s it! You know. Not just once. Leo gets a great portion every year. You all always get great parts. What about black actors? Look at Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx is one of the best actors in the world. Jamie Foxx – it’s him! Jamie Foxx was very good at Ray that they went to the hospital and unplugged the real Ray Charles. It’s like “We don’t need two of these!” It’s not all about race, man.

Another important thing tonight – someone told me this – you’re not allowed to ask women what they’re wearing anymore. That’s all: #AskHerMore. “You have to ask her more! You ask more gentlemen! “Everything is not sexist, everything is not racist. They ask the men more because the men all wear the same outfit! Every guy here is dressed exactly the same! If George Clooney showed up in a lime green suit, and a swan popped out of his ass, someone would say: “Whatcha wearrin”, George! “

Welcome to the 88th Academy Awards!

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