In an interview with Oprah Winfrey aired on Sunday nights on OWN, Lindsay Lohan admitted to lying about how many times she used cocaine.
While the actress has previously said she used drugs three or four times, she told Winfrey that the actual number is more than 10-15 times.
PHOTO: Lindsay Lohan through the years
“I was terrified of being judged,” she said, adding that she had snorted – but never injected – drugs.
Lohan also admits, “I am an addict,” but maintains that she is an alcoholic.
“Before, it was a gateway to other things for me,” she says. “I tried cocaine with alcohol.”
Lohan added that she doesn’t like using cocaine: “I never feel good the next day.” But she took it because it “allowed me to drink more. It’s a party thing. Everyone will have it, and I will do it. “
Lohan also said when she learned she was going to prison – she was first locked up in 2010 for violating her probation – the moment was “terrifying.” But, subconsciously, she knew she needed help.
“There was all the chaos around me that I was very comfortable with, I was somewhere inside that knew I wanted to go to jail,” she said. “And I think that was brought up subconsciously just by my actions, or lack thereof.”
She also commended her attorney, Shawn Holley, who appeared on The Hollywood Reporter’s list of the most powerful lawyers in the entertainment industry: “She is my family, she has been through a lot with me, she is always by my side. I love her. She has a great spirit and cares about me and wants what’s best for me. “
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Lohan, who has been to rehab six times, says she is now clean and only takes vitamins along with Nexium to treat acid reflux. She says she used to take Adderall for her ADD but then stopped because she didn’t believe she needed it anymore – and works better without it. She added that it wasn’t a sudden moment that prompted her to change her ways but more of a realization over a period of time.
When asked if she is “addicted to chaos”, Lohan replied: “I think so. Yes, it’s a comfortable choice for me. What chaos to other people on the outside looks like. It’s normal to come in. There’s something to be said about me learning to be comfortable with things just being okay.”
Meanwhile, Lohan’s parents – Dina and Michael Lohan – has been accused of exploiting their daughter in the past, but the actress denies that she feels they ever did. However, she admits that she desires some family problems – such as her leaked phone call with her father in which she accuses her mother of making coke (an accusation she told Winfrey is false) – was not broadcast to the public.
Lohan, who is currently starring in The canyons, which hits theaters on August 2, also makes her understand that she’s not the wild child of a few years ago. She said that she is ready to prove that she is a responsible adult who can be trusted by directors, producers and the like.
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“[I’m ready] To have the thing that makes me happiest all my life, is to work really hard, focus and prove myself,” she said. “I have to regain confidence in the people who have been in doubt, in my career, and I fully respect that on their behalf. As long as I stay true to myself and do the work I am willing to do and ready to do and am doing, nothing can stand in my way. I am my own worst enemy, and I know it. “
Next, Lohan will travel with her brother to Europe for a yoga and meditation retreat.
“I am different,” the actress said when pressed by Winfrey whether it was the best decision for her, just four days out of rehab. “I feel the difference. I’m in a different space. I don’t want the things that I wanted before.”
However, Winfrey encouraged her to stay in New York for a while before embarking on such a trip, an idea Lohan said she would consider.
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